I thought I would try on a pair of jeans that I haven't worn in years, you know, just to see.
I have been wearing size 24 jeans and today I fit into a pair of size 22! They are a little snug in my thighs and there is some "muffin topping" but I'm just happy that I could button them!
All that happiness said...
Today at the library I found a book Never Say Diet by Chantel Hobbs.
I found myself a blubbering mess on the stationary bike this morning. I had to cut my workout short because I was crying and couldn't breathe.
In her first 2 chapters, Chantel talks about how she began the journey of being a morbidly obese woman that changes to a healthy woman. She says she would spend her lunch money on junk food at 7-11. The junk food, the sweets she said, "tasted so good, and I felt happy. It was that simple. But then I'd swallow, and it was gone, and the happiness would disappear as well, so I needed more junk" (pg 23). *BAM* It hit me, I'm not an emotional eater! It's the sweet, creamy texture that melts in your mouth. That feeling is unlike any other. It's almost orgasmic! It's the feeling I crave, not the food, not how it MAKES me feel but how the food feels. And then I read this, "But I wasn't eating to fill an emotional void. I was eating because I felt good every time I put a spoonful in my mouth" (pg 25). I've been hit in the back of the head by Captain Obvious!
Chantel revisits sneaking food, I can relate to that! Nobody will miss one or two cookies. What if I just eat one more, nobody will notice. Or like the author I would stop and get something to eat on my way home and eat it by the time I got home and throw it away in the neighbors trash can. If no one sees you eat it, did you really eat it? Very much like if a tree falls in the forest, does it make a noise?
I know that I relate to what she is talking about, my heart just cries knowing that other men, women and children can too.
Although I am not a religious person by any means, I know that this book will be an inspiration to me. I already know that I'm not alone but seeing someone that has written about it and made a life of healthy living and believing gives me hope. You should check out her book if you get a chance.
I'll be posting more AHA! moments from the book and share a little bit of both of our stories.
For now...
Thought of the day:
Why do you eat?
You are so insightful about the fact that there are much deeper reasons behind why we eat than just physical. I have found that for me the toughest times are when I'm tired and frustrated and can't get the "down time" I need. That's when I turn to food hoping to get the "5 hour energy" fix
ReplyDeleteJust finished reading another book you might find interesting.. it's called "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst
Keep posting and Awesome news about your jeans!
Thank you! I will put that on my list of books to read for pleasure. I do that so infrequently :)
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