*knock knock knock*

Hello, lo, lo, lo, lo.....

Anyone, one, one, one, one.....

Hello, lo, lo, lo, lo.....

Yikes!  I have missed all my readers!  I have missed blogging!

I waited way too long between posts and to be honest, I'm a little mad at myself!

Oh where oh where to begin!

After I did the Dirty Girl Mud Run, I spent the rest of my summer anticipating the arrival of my niece Alivia. 

Alivia made her appearance after 4 days of teasing us!  Stubborn little thing already! 

Unfortunately I haven't seen her since she was less than 24 hours old.  They live about 100 miles away and it's been hard to get away.

I made her this little bear!  Her name is Alivia and she has Liv's birthday!  So much fun!

Proud Auntie!

A little bit of a cone head but she has a cute face!  Even cuter now!

Family of 3!  My brother was wrapped around that cute little finger a long time ago!  The poor sap!

More News!!
So you have probably gathered by now that I am a teacher.  For 2 years I taught 3rd grade and then spent 4 years teaching English as a Second Language to kindergarten and 1st graders.

This year I'm trying something a little different. I was invited by the ESL Dept. to pilot a program. 
I am teaching students in MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!!!!!

How I went from kindergarten and 1st grade to 6/7/8 is beyond something my mind can comprehend. 

Anyway, these students will have been in the country for less than a year.  They will have little to no educational experiences and/or large gaps in their education. 

I get students tomorrow, I'm starting out with 12, could be more, could be less. As students transition in and out of my class my numbers will change. 

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Hopefully I will blog more, exercise more and eat less!

I Want S'more

So I'm trying something different...

S'mores Cake!

I am obsessed with s'mores.  Have been for years and years.  It is a secret obsession.  Recently, Dairy Queen came out with S'mores Blizzards.  OMFG!  A mini does it for me :)

I am really wanting an actual s'mores though so I decided to do some online research.  I've seen a few recipes but none of them seemed perfect... So, I created my own!

Rebekka's I Want S'more Cake

Ingredients:
1 box Chocolate Devil's Food cake mix
1 bag Hershey's Milk Chocolate Chips
1 bag small marshmallows
1 bag large marshmallows
1 box honey graham crackers
1 13x9x1 pan

 Preheat oven 350. Make the cake mix as per the box.

Pour about 1/3 of the cake mix in the bottom of a grease pan.
The break graham crackers in half and place on top of the unbaked cake mix.

 Pour the entire bag of Hershey's Milk Chocolate Chips over the top of the graham crackers.

 Place small marshmallows over the chocolate chips.

Break more graham crackers in half and place on top of marshmallows.

 Pour the rest of the cake batter on top of the graham crackers and spread evenly.

After 30 minutes take the cake out of the and turn oven to broil at 500 degrees.
Place the large marshmallows on top.

 It doesn't have to be pretty but try to space everything out.
Put back in the oven under the broiler but DO NOT leave!  It happens quick!

This gives the "fire" look to the marshmallows and warms them up enough.
Take the back of a spoon and smush them down.

The smushing isn't necessary but it looks good :)

Wait until it cools before cutting because the marshmallows will stick to the knife otherwise and destroy your pretty cake.

This will be a pretty rich cake so small pieces are recommended!  Let me know if you are making it and how it turns out!  I'm pretty sure it will be AWESOME!

Flavored Water

Some call it detox water, I call it flavored.

Whatever you call it, the flavor is great and fresh!

Here is the recipe I found....

3 quarts or 12 cups of water

2 lemons, sliced

1/2 cucumber, sliced

10 mint leaves

Rinse everything really well. Slice lemons and cucumber. Add lemons, cucumber, and mint to pitcher. Cover with 3 quarts of water and refrigerate over night.

Okay, so I tried it.  I have to say YUM!  The flavor is great and there is a sweet/sour base to it.  

The cucumber flavor is subtle.  You can taste it in the background but it's not overpowering.  You can taste the lemon more than anything so next time I will cut the lemon back a little.  I can't taste the mint so I'm wondering if I need to muddle it first.  Just a thought. 

So you are asking yourself, "Why put all those things together?"  Well, I'll tell you why :)

Lemon
1. A great source of vitamin c
2. Balances pH levels
3. Improves digestion
4. Aides weight loss
`Did you know that if your body is out of balance it is incredibly difficult to lose weight? Having a happy, healthy body and mind is one of the fastest ways to weight loss. A more alkaline diet makes for a happier person, and according to Eating Well Magazine, people with more alkaline diets tend to lose weight faster. Also, lemons contain pectin fiber, which helps set your body back to normal hunger levels. On board yet? If not, don't worry there are two more genius benefits coming your way. (My source)

Cucumber
1. Keeps body hydrated as it is 96% water
2. A good source of dietary fibers and vitamins
3. The high water content and dietary fibers are aide in clearing toxins from the digestive system.
4. Diuretic... 96% water anyone :)
5. Contains a hormone that is used in the pancreas to produce insulin

Mint
1. Relieves GI issues
2. High in antioxidants
3. Improves the movement of bile from the liver
4. Also aides in the relaxation of sore muscles

As a note of warning: 1. If you don't like pulpy orange juice, I would juice the lemon instead of let it just hang out in the pitcher.
2. Strain and drain!  I'm using an iced tea pitcher with a tap.  Things are getting stuck in there so it's not draining into the cup well.
3. The acidity of the lemon can break down the enamel of your teeth.  Alternate this "detox" water with tap water.  Also, don't "nurse" the "detox" water, the acid will stay on your teeth longer. 

I hope you enjoy this recipe.  I have been enjoying it today and I've been drinking more water because of it. 

I'm planning on trying others next week and will blog about them as well.

Dirty Girl!

So I managed to do the Dirty Girl Mud Run!

http://godirtygirl.com/

It was so much fun!  My cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling so much.  It took me about 90 minutes to get through it.  5k's don't take me that long but you have to factor in waiting to do the obstacle, doing the obstacle and waiting for each other.

All clean... before!

At the top of "Girl Get Over It"

Climbing into the final mud pit, coved in mud!

Someone clean off my face!

I had so much fun!  I will totally do it again!  Unfortunately, I can't move!  My whole body aches, even right down to my toes.

I can't wait to do it again!

It's been awhile

I have had a lot going on!

#1 I graduated with my Master's Degree in May!!!

President Shonrock and I 

With my hood after graduation

My brother Paul and I.  He graduated too!

#2 I found out I was being transferred to a different school.  I had mixed feelings about being transferred at the beginning.  I feel like it is for the best now.  My health is not what it should be.  I have put on a lot of weight this year.  Not nearly as much I have in the past.

Since I have depression and anxiety issues, this year has been hell.  Lots of problems, lots of questions about my abilities (self directed), and lots of questions about my choice to be an educator.

I will be teaching kindergarten through 5th grade English as a Second Language!  I've taught k/1 for so long that I have to get into the mindset of older kids.  Now I have a reason to read the William Allen White Children's Book Nominees!  I just finished one book!  I did a sort-of-review of it.  http://wawbookreviews.blogspot.com/  Check it out and tell me what you think!

Well, that is about it for now... nothing too exciting.

Just more of the same b.s.... you know, self doubt, self loathing, negative self talk... the usual.

I'll post more often and get back to at least weekly posts.  Promise!

Dear Not-So-Subtle,

Dear Not-So-Subtle,

You suck at hiding the fact that you were staring at me with your mouth open.  Is it that surprising that I am lifting weights?  The fat girl is doing something to better herself.  Get over your muscle-head-small-d!(k self and realize that you are not the only person that gets to work out!!!

Love,
This Gorgeous-Transforming-Goddess of Fluff'n'Stuff

P.S.  Excessive gorilla grunting makes me want to run the other way.  Stop showing off!

New look

I am now a contacts wearer.  I'm definitely enjoying it.  Unfortunately, I have to put eye drops in about every hour or two especially as the day goes on.

This is an awful picture but I don't have any good ones yet.  

New goals

So my trainer and I have come up with new goals.

Pretty exciting if you ask me :)

I have posted them on my closet door to help me visualize each day getting beter and stronger.

I admit that I have slacked :(

I haven't lost as much weight, haven't been watching what I eat and frankly haven't cared too much.
Depression is getting the best of me.  STRESS is getting the best of me.
I have fallen out of routine.  I have let the negativity of others permeate my brain.

I don't feel happy or whole right now.  I feel as though something is missing in my life.  I don't know what it is. I just don't feel complete.  I am ready to move on from this funk and get back to working out, eating healthy and enjoying life.

It will get better, I just need time.

I have to keep telling myself...

Hey New Kids on the Block

Hey there my sexy boy band from my childhood!

My obsession for you when I was younger has grown.  I saw you when I first moved to KC!  It was probably the best concert EVER!

Well, you are back and your new song gives fat asses like me hope in life!

Thank you for helping me not feel like I'm doomed to be ugly and fat for the rest of my life :)

Sincerely,
One love sick fat fan that is trying to better herself




Okay, sorry for that but it needed to be said. Their new song is fun, easy to dance around the house to and the lyrics speak to me.

Remix (I like the) by New Kids on the Block

I also LOVE this video because Donnie dances with a fat chick.  Gives me hope, you know!

Some of the lyrics for you :)

She was that girl in the corner
Thick-rimmed glasses
Everybody laughed
Every time she passed us
Ever the outcast
Had no flava
But who got the last laugh

Always came last
No one ever kissed her
Missing for days
But nobody missed her
She went from wallpaper
To heartbreaker
You shoulda seen her

Now her body’s so crazy
Got mad attention
Everybody wants her
I forgot to mention
My baby’s so intelligent
Down with it
Independent
Got it all

See no one ever knew
She was a transformer
Went straight from a 2
To an I just wanna own ya

I like the new you
Forget about the old school
I love the sexy thing you turned into
So gimme the v2
Some of that love fuel
I like the beat that your body moves to

I really have a renewed sense of love for NKOTB after this song and then the admission that Jonathan has an anxiety disorder.  Between my weight, being a wallflower, being awkward, and have anxiety and depression; this band is my new celeb. hero!

Society makes me sad...

As I'm hanging out on the couch this morning drinking my coffee and watching the news (I'm turning into my grandparents! ACK!) I'm scrolling through Facebook (nothing new to be honest).

I like babble.com a long time ago on Facebook.  My cousin had a part in the creation of the website so that is why.  Check it out if you haven't already.  Very interesting stuff on there.

ANYWAY... (easily distracted human here)
They had posted posted an article that caught my eye. It is about a woman that photographs herself out in public.  She was not trying to "catch" people staring at her but that is what happened.

I have always felt that people are staring at me.  I have been awkward in public.  It hasn't been until recently that I have started liking my body again.  It has been transforming and changing.  It's not perfect, it's not where I want it to be but the changes are happening.

Looking through the pictures that the woman posted, I'm disgusted by people!  Society is awful!  If you don't look like something out of a magazine, people stare, giggle, make fun, and are just plain mean.

Grow up!

http://www.babble.com/mom/brave-photographer-has-lens-turned-on-her-as-strangers-gawk-at-her-weight-photos/?cmp=SMC|bbl|soc|FB|Main|InHouse|041213|Photo||famE|Social||&utm_campaign=babbleeditors&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=referral#wait-watchers

Society makes me sad!