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Thursday, April 25, 2013

New goals

So my trainer and I have come up with new goals.

Pretty exciting if you ask me :)

I have posted them on my closet door to help me visualize each day getting beter and stronger.

I admit that I have slacked :(

I haven't lost as much weight, haven't been watching what I eat and frankly haven't cared too much.
Depression is getting the best of me.  STRESS is getting the best of me.
I have fallen out of routine.  I have let the negativity of others permeate my brain.

I don't feel happy or whole right now.  I feel as though something is missing in my life.  I don't know what it is. I just don't feel complete.  I am ready to move on from this funk and get back to working out, eating healthy and enjoying life.

It will get better, I just need time.

I have to keep telling myself...

Friday, April 19, 2013

Hey New Kids on the Block

Hey there my sexy boy band from my childhood!

My obsession for you when I was younger has grown.  I saw you when I first moved to KC!  It was probably the best concert EVER!

Well, you are back and your new song gives fat asses like me hope in life!

Thank you for helping me not feel like I'm doomed to be ugly and fat for the rest of my life :)

One love sick fat fan that is trying to better herself

Okay, sorry for that but it needed to be said. Their new song is fun, easy to dance around the house to and the lyrics speak to me.

Remix (I like the) by New Kids on the Block

I also LOVE this video because Donnie dances with a fat chick.  Gives me hope, you know!

Some of the lyrics for you :)

She was that girl in the corner
Thick-rimmed glasses
Everybody laughed
Every time she passed us
Ever the outcast
Had no flava
But who got the last laugh

Always came last
No one ever kissed her
Missing for days
But nobody missed her
She went from wallpaper
To heartbreaker
You shoulda seen her

Now her body’s so crazy
Got mad attention
Everybody wants her
I forgot to mention
My baby’s so intelligent
Down with it
Got it all

See no one ever knew
She was a transformer
Went straight from a 2
To an I just wanna own ya

I like the new you
Forget about the old school
I love the sexy thing you turned into
So gimme the v2
Some of that love fuel
I like the beat that your body moves to

I really have a renewed sense of love for NKOTB after this song and then the admission that Jonathan has an anxiety disorder.  Between my weight, being a wallflower, being awkward, and have anxiety and depression; this band is my new celeb. hero!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Society makes me sad...

As I'm hanging out on the couch this morning drinking my coffee and watching the news (I'm turning into my grandparents! ACK!) I'm scrolling through Facebook (nothing new to be honest).

I like babble.com a long time ago on Facebook.  My cousin had a part in the creation of the website so that is why.  Check it out if you haven't already.  Very interesting stuff on there.

ANYWAY... (easily distracted human here)
They had posted posted an article that caught my eye. It is about a woman that photographs herself out in public.  She was not trying to "catch" people staring at her but that is what happened.

I have always felt that people are staring at me.  I have been awkward in public.  It hasn't been until recently that I have started liking my body again.  It has been transforming and changing.  It's not perfect, it's not where I want it to be but the changes are happening.

Looking through the pictures that the woman posted, I'm disgusted by people!  Society is awful!  If you don't look like something out of a magazine, people stare, giggle, make fun, and are just plain mean.

Grow up!


Society makes me sad!