Detox Days 7-12

Quick update...

eating got a little easier but I still hate it.  I have cheated a few times on the diet but I also know I have to listen to my body and do what is right for me.

Sometimes you just have to eat.  It was never an over eat but it was filling food.

I'm officially down 12 pounds and have plans to be under 300 very soon.

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I am able to start adding chicken into my diet on Thursday.  You have no idea how happy I am to eat meat again.

When this detox is over I will be starting what is called the Undergraduate Diet.  Basically it's the beginning of Paleo.

With my gazillion supplements I will take every day and a protein shake, I hope that things will get better internally.

My stomach doesn't seem to mind all the craziness.  It is definitely cleaning out.

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Wish me luck on days 13-30 that I stay strong!

Detox Day 6

I've noticed I'm not as hungry as I have been.  I've really only eaten twice today.

I had a salad about 1:15 and then some soup about 6.  I did my two shakes today but other than that, nothing.

Today was a kind of cheat day.  I had two huge yummy bites of a cheeseburger.  I could have eaten a bunch of cheeseburgers but after I ate it, I immediately started feeling gross.  Pretty good sign right there huh?

I want to swing by the health food store tomorrow to get more soup.  It was really good and such a huge change in what I've been eating.  

5 more days until I can add meats... I know I can, I know I can, I know I can...

With support and encouragement, I can do it!

Detox Day 5

So my ring is practically falling off my hand.  That is a great thing!

I've noticed I'm not so bloated anymore!

I cheated yesterday and had 2 bean burritos.  I just couldn't do it for one more second.  I needed to feel full.  Big mistake!  I felt so sick afterwards. Lesson learned!

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I talked with a friend of 30+ years that had done this shake before.  She gave me hope and inspiration.  Thank you Rebecca!

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I also did my workout with my trainer yesterday.  He kicked my butt as always.

I'm getting stronger and able to do more now but it's still tough.

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I just hope that the next few weeks are smoother for me.  With school starting back up and life moving forward, things get a little crazy.

Here's to a smooth sailing the next few weeks.

Detox Day 3 & 4

Day 3

I drank my shake but didn't really want to eat anything else. For lunch there was some cheating.  I ate a salad, then I had some mashed potatoes, a small slice of pizza and a bread stick.

It was very hard to go out to eat!  This veggie and fruit detox is annoying!

I didn't think about it and at my niece's birthday party, I couldn't eat.  I should have brought food but didn't.

I didn't even eat cake even though I wanted to.  I did have a little frosting though.

Feeding Aunt Bekka

When I got home, I had a cucumber and that was it.  I just wasn't very hungry so I didn't eat.
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Day 4

I was a good girl today!  I had my shake this morning, although I didn't eat my fruit for breakfast until about an hour later.

I went to the grocery store to the salad bar and filled up a big container!  It was a fabulous tasting salad!

Dinner was a fruit smoothie.  I don't know if I should be drinking almond milk more than once a day but I did.
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I really need to find some alternatives to what I'm eating.  I'm getting bored.  I have 10 more days without meat so I need to figure something out.

The document that I was given has some recipes in it.  I think I'm going to try the tomato soup recipe, the veggie stew recipe and I don't know what else.

I'm looking for gluten-free, dairy free, vegetarian meals to get me through the next few weeks.

If you have any ideas, please let me know, I'm bored here...

Thought for today:
A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.

Wade Boggs

Detox Day 2

Yesterday was difficult!

I've learned that if I chug the shake, it goes down pretty easy.  However... I was so hungry yesterday afternoon while I was packing and cleaning the apt. that I had some organic brown rice from Trader Joe's.  Not on my list of approved foods but whatever!  I needed to eat and didn't have any fruit in the apt.

Dinner was 1 pound... yes you read that right 1 pound of veggies!  It was really good, I drizzled some olive oil on them with some salt, pepper, and Mrs. Dash.  It was pretty good.  At least I didn't go to bed hungry.
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Saturday is my niece's first birthday party.  I'm a little nervous but can take my own food and will just say no to cake.  I know it will be tough but I can do it!
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I don't know what my starting weight was but I weighed today 306.8.  I'm not going to weigh myself daily but a few times a week.
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Here's to a good detox day 3!

Functional Medicine

So a little back story for ya'll here...

During teacher appreciation week we had a lady come in and give us chair massages.  We also got a complimentary consultation.  So I said what the hell, I'd try it and see.  If anything I'd say no.

So I went and long-story-short, was able to get all my 36 visits paid for.  I had shared some concerns with the doctor and we are moving along now.

So here it is: I'm fat!  Shocker right!  Well, he did a bunch of blood work and I found out I'm diabetic (early early stages, my A1C was 6.4).

The doctor decided to detox me.  I'm on ClearVite which is drink supplement thing.  It's a little gross but whatever.  I'm also supposed to only eat fruits and veggies.  I'm cranky!  I'm super cranky and want to cheat.  I'm so hungry!  I'm trying to drink water but it's not helping.

I had a HUGE salad for lunch but I need more.  I just don't know if I can do this "detox"  I know it's only day 1 but OMG!  I feel awful :(

Can I cry?!

30 days total and on day 15 I get to add in chicken and turkey.  This can't be healthy can it?
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So what is this functional medicine to see what it's all about go to this website

http://www.functionalmedicine.org/about/whatisfm/

I just don't know how I feel about all of this.

Any insight?

Health update

Back in January I had an ovarian cyst rupture.  That was the most painful thing I have ever felt.  A few days later, I went to the doctor, she gave me different birth control and sent me on my way with order for an ultrasound and complete physical.

Monday of spring break (March 17) I went to the doctor for my complete physical.  I got 9 vials of blood taken from me (stupid vampires!) and went on my merry way.

At my physical, the doctor prescribed me Spironolact, Metformin and Seasonique (on Friday Lipitor).  These are for PCOS, PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome.  I am currently on 6 medications :(

Later that day, I went for a transabdominal and transvaginal ultrasound to check on the status of my ovarian cysts.  I was given no information about what was on the ultrasound.  I would have to wait for that.

Fast forward to Friday:  I had received an email stating that my lab results are in.

My A1c results are high, testosterone is very high, total cholesterol extremely high, Triglycerides very high, LDL cholesterol is high and Vitamin D low. 

Not the best picture, sorry about that but you get the idea. 

Friday afternoon I get a phone call about the high cholesterol.  Now I had already read this in the above notes but it was still nice to hear it from a person.  

Friday afternoon/evening, I decided that I was going to feel sorry for myself and pout in bed.  

Saturday I got myself out of bed and went to lunch with my friend Brittany and her son.  It was great to get to talk to her and giggle/laugh.  We got all caught up!  Her son, the monkey, played on at McDonald's while we talked.  

All was good until I got home... I checked my mail and found a very nicely worded letter from the Imaging Center.

In case it is difficult to see... Left ovary is 2.3 cm in length with is normal, the right ovary is enlarged with a dominant 3.6 cm right ovarian cyst and additional smaller subcentimeter right ovarian cysts.

Left ovary 2.3cm or 0.9 inches

Right cyst 3.6 cm or 1.4 inches

To give you an idea about size...

more of a comparison

Needless to say, I've been down and depressed the last few days.  I'm pulling myself out of it but I'm still down.  Honestly, all this is just overwhelming and I've been trying to figure out how to get this all down on the blog. 

At first, I didn't want to to write things down, I've got to keep something private.  But, I realized that getting it down and telling my real feelings about this would help me.  I know I'm not the first person in the world diagnosed with any of these health issues, but it's a first for me.  

If you see me and I look down or sad, I probably am.  I just have a lot on my mind and need work out everything.  It's a lot for a girl to digest :(

I hope no one has to deal with health issues like this but I know many of my readers have.

I don't want scary health stories or anything that will freak me out.  Please be respectful of my fears and feelings.  That's all I ask...

Today's thought:

“Self pity becomes your oxygen. But you learned to breathe it without a gasp. So, nobody even notices you're hurting.” 
― Paul Monette

At it again

Started counting calories again!  I was so hungry yesterday!  I thought my stomach was going to eat through my skin and devour a student!  LOL!

I hate being hungry but I also know I have to train myself to eat less again.

Since it was so hard yesterday, I woke up with a new attitude today.  My body was telling me that I need a change... so I changed. It won't be easy to get back into it. I will do what it takes to get healthy and prove to myself that I can do it!

I will be having a health assessment tomorrow for my health insurance.  Not something I'm completely looking forward to but necessary.  I want to get the perks from it.

I want to feel better, I want to be happier with myself.

The cyst rupturing scared me, but I was in denial about how bad it was until I had another one rupture.  I go to the doctor on March 17th to find out more about this health scare and to hopefully get some answers.

My smaller clothes don't fit anymore and I'm finding it tough to get dressed in the mornings.  I feel like I'm wearing the same things over and over again because they are the only things that fit.

I'm depressed, my body hurts and I have no desire to do anything.  It's time to make the changes again and be the healthier me.

I have a 5k in May that I want to be able to do without being winded.  Right now, I don't think I can do that.  Time to lace up my tennis shoes and head for the hills!

losing patience

I would say that I am not losing but have lost my patience today.  Nothing seems to be going right and frankly, I need to start over.

I have The Beatles station playing on Pandora to sooth the beast (my lack of patience).

I have 4 students at my table all working on different things, I have others at their desks working quietly, and some working together.

I thought my day sucked and that nothing was going right.

And then...

Student D (Spanish speaker) was helping Student L (Laotian speaker).  He did so without prompting and then proceeded to use English.  It brought tears to my eyes!  The compassion Student D showed toward the frustrated Student L was amazing!  My day wasn't bad, it was just temporarily broken.

If two students that barely speak English and don't even speak the same language can communicate and work through their problems; why can't I work through my weight loss struggles?

Just some thoughts for today... well, yesterday!  I had every intention of posting this yesterday but time got away from me and it didn't get done.

Hello again...

To get myself back on track, I've been reading through my blog... holy crap!  I've been way honest!  I've opened up more than I probably should have. Wasn't that the point though?

As I sit here and reflect on the last 2 years of my professional and personal life, I've realized that the blog became 2nd fiddle to everything else in my life, just like my weight loss.

I had a health scare on New Years Day that landed me in the ER.  I had the worst pain in my abdomen.  I thought it was a number of different things but mostly thought I could just ride it out.  When I couldn't even lay down due to the pain, I took my happy ass into the ER.

Blood work said I was fine.  X-ray said I was fine.  Urine test said I was fine.

No one had any idea what was going on!

They decided I need to have an ultra sound done.  As someone that has never had one, I have to say that it is a weird goopy feeling.  There was something there but they needed to be sure so I was "wanded".  If you have never had a vaginal wand ultra sound, consider yourself the luckiest person alive.  Imagine someone jabbing a wand up your private area and moving it around like a hand mixer.

Great visual right?!

So in March I get to do it again!  I'm so excited *insert eye roll*!  At least I don't have to fast for that one but I do have to drink gallons of water.  Fun!

So why are you getting this information... well, other than being way too honest, it is also about weight loss.  It was suggested that I lose 10-15 pounds by March 17.  All kinds of fun tests need to be done on me... oh joy!  The preliminary diagnosis is PCOS.  http://women.webmd.com/pcos-directory

It is something that I will definitely have to watch.  I will have to have regular check ups and now that I know what the pain is, I don't have to go to the ER and spend $1200 just to have an IV put in.

My weight loss is now even more important than it was.  I am really stepping up and will be working go make myself healthier in order to help myself.

As I have in the past...

Yikes!

It has been way too long since I've done a good update.

Life has gotten crazy in my new position at work.  I now have 15 (soon to be 16) students from all walks of life, countries and languages.  I have students that have seen or have been raped, seen murder of loved ones, starved, been shot at, nearly killed... I am a counselor of some and a safe place to all.

That weighs heavily on your mind, body and soul.  I believe that without them, I wouldn't be where I am today.  I feel strong and confident in my own skin because if I am not, the students will see right through me.  Their strength and determination help me to get through the most difficult of times yet my strength and determination help them get through difficulties.

This isn't like teaching in an elementary school classroom; I have my students all day but there is something more magical and special about this.  It is so hard to explain that you almost have to be here to witness it.  I am not a miracle worker by any means and I really don't want to the attention.  I just want others to know that even though it may seem simple, teaching that is, I leave school each day exhausted and broken.  I am not broken because they are winning, I am broken because of stories I hear and the tragedies that have occurred in my student's lives. Each and every day, I get a little more information about their lives before the US.  One student made his way up from Central America to New York ALONE!  I hear that and just want to cry.  Another student witnessed her brother being executed.  How I wish I could take those memories from my students!

I think Eleanor Roosevelt said it best...

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.

Even though I can not take those memories from my students, they are strong individuals that give me hope for our future.