Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Through all the stress and drama from the last few days, I know that I have to remain strong for myself. I can not let these times hinder my progress. I must push forward with my life change and continue working hard.
I have decided to continue working with the trainer. I get 3 hours for $99. That is 6 sessions with him. If I go every other week for 30 minutes, I think I should be able to continue on this path. After that, I will look at the specials and see what I can do. I will be successful and I will make it work.
Thought of the day:
Find one reason to smile...
Monday, January 30, 2012
You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends but you can't pick your friends nose...
There is one thing in life that I just don't think I could live without and that is my many friends.
*Names have been changed to protect the guilty :-P
*Gertrude... what can I say about you?! I just can't believe it has been over 16 years and we are still going strong! We have had our ups, our downs and our WTF! moments. Through it all, you have been one of my biggest cheerleaders and I have been yours. I love you!
*Bunnygirl... You haven't been called that in a long time! I remember when we first met. Neither of us wanted a friend at that moment but we sucked it up and now 12 years later, we are planning a major trip soon! We have also had ups, downs and WTF! moments.
I know I have left many people out but you all know I can't do it without your support.
Thank you all for the wonderful month! Here is to another month of health!
Thought of the day:
Friends are the family you get to pick.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
What have I learned in one month?
- I have learned that eating out is difficult.
- I have learned that eating three good meals a day with a mid morning and mid afternoon snack (some cheese, a piece of fruit, some carrots, hummus, something) keeps me from splurging all day and splurging at meals.
- I have learned that I like working out.
- I have learned that I am stronger than I thought I was.
- I have learned that I'm juggling too much and need to figure something out.
My goal for the next 4 weeks:
Lose another 5 lbs (10 lbs total)
Continue my controlled eating
Leave the stress outside!
My gift to myself! http://www.cafepress.com/designdivagifts2.544346528
Thought of the day:
Gluttony kills more than the sword.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Thank you so much for making my birthday special!
I know I went over my calories but it's a special occasion and I've been good all week. Tomorrow will be lots of greens and lots of good for me food.
Time to hit the sack, the drinks made me sleepy....
Thought of the day:
Sometimes you just have to have fun, laugh and smile, it's good for the soul.
Friday, January 27, 2012
As I have said in the past, Dr. Phil is my guilty pleasure. I was catching up on his shows from the week tonight. Yesterday's episode sparked this post...
Eating disorders are a serious health problem. There are three recognized disorders: anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge-eating disorder. Each of these disorders has it's own symptoms and treatments.
I have done some research on eating disorders tonight. The statistics are scary...
- It is estimated that 8 million Americans have an eating disorder – seven million women and one million men
- One in 200 American women suffers from anorexia
- Two to three in 100 American women suffers from bulimia
- Nearly half of all Americans personally know someone with an eating disorder (Note: One in five Americans suffers from mental illnesses.)
- An estimated 10 – 15% of people with anorexia or bulimia are males
Here are some other links that explain more about eating disorders. National Institute on Mental Health and National Eating Disorder Association
As I was looking over the symptoms of these different eating disorders, I got to thinking about the people I know. I'm sure I know someone that is suffering from an eating disorder. Am I the person that someone knows?
I know you can't self diagnose but if you were to look at the symptoms of binge-eating disorder, I think I fit a lot of the symptoms.
Without a doctor looking at me and telling me that I have a disorder, I can't come out and say it. However, I can say that this is something I feel is a part of me.
Not enough people think that eating disorders are real or they have misconceptions about them.
As human beings, we need to keep our eyes open for those around us. If you see someone struggling, regardless if it's an eating disorder or if it's something else, please take the time to offer help. Many times I would have liked someone to say to me, "How can I help?" Please offer unsolicited advice or try and tell you what you are doing is wrong. To me, that is wrong! Offer help, if it is not accepted, know that the person knows you want to help.
Don't give up but don't harass, bug or annoy. Remember to be there for the person and know that when the person is ready, (s)he will let you know.
Because I am putting my life out there on the line, I know that I will get "unsolicited" advice. Feel free to throw out all the advice that you want! Someone will listen and it will change the life of someone.
Thought of the Day:
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Yesterday's workout helped me get rid of a lot of stress. I had been feeling like nothing was going my way. I worked hard and pushed myself to a new level.
Today's workout felt like an old friend. When did that happen?! Looking forward to a workout?! I'm getting better at this! I used the stationary bike while reading a book... for pleasure! GASP!!!!!
After my 30 minutes or so on the bike, I had another workout with Trainer Joe. That man pushed me!! The high I felt afterwards was incredible. Is this what people feel like after every workout?
I have one more session with him for free :(
I have asked him about meeting a few times a month to push me and keep me on track. He agreed to it. WooHoo! I need that. Not only does this blog help me to stay on track and focused on my health journey, but I have other ways as well.
When my story airs on the news, I will definitely have to push myself. Having a trainer work with me a few times a month will not only help me from being bored out of my mind with my workouts but will also keep me focused. Sometimes, that's all you need.
My thought of the day today is from...
I have to say that I do look up to her. She was a beautiful woman and she showed off her body. Marilyn had hips. She had thighs. She had a booty. But most importantly, she had grace. I wish she would have lived longer. I think she would have been amazing! She could have been a positive role model for girls and women. Contrary to popular belief, she was actually a size 8 and at her heaviest a size 10.
If I only I could look like her someday....
I'm trying to find myself as a person. Who am I? What are my goals and beliefs? What do I dream about?
This is not just a journey of weight loss and health. I believe it was time for me to find that person deep inside that I don't know is there. What is she trying to tell me? I can hear her whispering to me but I can't make out what she is saying. I think it's time for a mega phone :)
Thought of the Day:
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
So it was one year ago today that my ex broke up with me.
I have decided that there are some wonderful things that have come out of this.
#1 I made it to graduate school! It is VERY time consuming and I have the support of my friends and family. Everyone is very understanding of the time it takes away from them.
#2 I have become more outgoing and more ME!
#3 I have more money! I have money to do what I need to do now. Bills are getting paid on time and in full. I have been able to buy things that I want.
#4 I have met a wonderful guy that not only supports everything I do but is a wonderful father to his kids. Although we don't see each other very often, I know that he cares deeply for me just as I do him. He's been there for my family and for me during a very difficult time. I don't think I could ever repay him for that.
#5 I wouldn't have had the opportunity to go to the conference this last week. I learned a lot about a lot of things. I feel very blessed to have opportunities like this.
#6 I don't think I would have been able to start this weight loss journey. It's easy to eat better when you are cooking for yourself
Overall, this breakup was a good thing! I have become a better person because of him.
I am back down to the weight I was last week when I left for the conference. I would like to be down more than I am but I understand I had some setbacks and I need to focus on my health this week. Tomorrow night I will be spending some more time at the gym and adding to my workout. Thursday I have time with Trainer Joe! I'm actually looking forward to it.
I have felt off for the last week. I know it's because I haven't been working out like I need to. My whole week was off last week. It's time to step up the intensity and duration. My calorie intake is just fine, no problems on that front now that I am home and in more control.
Tonight I was interviewed by one of our local news anchors!!!! She is amazing and I'm tickled pink. The news team is here! The interview is going awesome and I feel absolutely wonderful! In fact as I am typing this they are filming me! :) Hi Christa and Andy!
So today's food intake worked well for me, I feel like I am back to doing what I need to do. Tomorrow..... The GYM!
I plan on going the rest of this week to play catch up. I think it will go pretty well. I have the trainer Thursday night and then I will be on my own.
What I would really like to do is to see how much it would cost to work with a trainer at the Y once a month or so. I think that would help me keep on track with my exercise with calories. The trainer would be very helpful to me. He would really help me keep on track and I think that it would be a good way to be accountable to myself and to others. Unfortunately, it can be quite expensive even at the Y so I will definitely have to see.
One final note for today, even though we are going through tough times, there is always a smile to be had or laughter to be heard. I'm fortunate to work with kindergarten and first graders so they always find ways to make me smile. They are wonderful kids and I am really lucky to have the chance to work with them.
Thought of the Day:
Monday, January 23, 2012
Others say "cute face, chubby waist"(to be nice), there is even a song with that title.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
What good is it to beat myself up? All that does is make me more frustrated and I feel worse about my decisions last week. So here is what I'm going to do:
#1 move back to my positive healthy food intake
#2 add a 10 minutes to my work out every day
#3 work harder to make up for my laziness and lack of motivation while I was gone
#4 stop beating myself up
#5 not letting this slip stop me
Easier said than done...
I can say #1 and #2 are probably the easiest to do right now. Yesterday I had 200 calories left at the end of the day. I will happily take it! #3 is going to be a little more difficult but I have the motivation to keep lowering those numbers! I want those ladybug coffee cups!!!!
So I have a rant that is not weight loss related...
I'm trying to get some work down for my classes and the ESU website is down for maintenance. It would have been nice for them to let us know. Jerks!
My goal today is to get some school work done for both classes and lesson plans and then work out.
Lots of great things are happening in the next few days! Stay tuned!
Thought of the day:
Failure teaches success.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
First, I was away from home and work for 3 days. I was in Oklahoma City for a conference for NEA. I had a lot of fun once I got out of the boring stuff. I met a lot of great people and made some great connections. When you get 600 educators in a room together, things can get quite entertaining!
Second, yesterday was my grandfather's birthday. I thought about him all day. I miss the "old goat" every day. I was quietly asking him to please help keep me safe during my travels.
Third, I have made some mistakes this week. I really didn't have much control over what was served. I know that there were some alternatives that I could have taken. I could have taken my own meals, I could have asked for the vegetarian version. There were lots of "could haves." What is boils down to is not taking control.
Lessons learned is this. You have to be proactive about your health. No one can do it for you. Now that I know this, I have some serious work ahead of me. I have some things that need to be done to get back on track.
I will not let this slip keep me from my ultimate goal. My ultimate goal is health.
I worked really hard today at my workouts. I know that I need to step up my game.
Thought of the day:
Fun-sized Snickers? Who’s this fun for? Not me. I need six or seven of these babies in a row to start having fun.
I learned so much once I got through all the boring stuff.
Because I didn't have much control over food, it was difficult. I did put on a pound or so. I'm not really happy about that.
My back is hurting a lot because of the sitting and sitting and sitting.
Thought of the day:
There is no love sincerer than the love of food. ~George Bernard Shaw
Thursday, January 19, 2012
This conference isn't much fun in the food dept.
They are feeding us. The salads are all chocked full of sodium and calories, very few of them are lettuce salads. Not many healthy choices.
I think I will be paying for this on Monday when I weigh myself. Yes, I could have brought my own lunch but I didn't.
I know what I need to do. I will be exercising a little more this upcoming week.
I can't wait to get to -5lbs!!!! I found the cutest lady bug coffee cups that I want.
I had promised myself that for every 5lbs lost that I could buy something lady bug.
Thought of the day:
Chemicals, n: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made. ~Author Unknown
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Traveled to Oklahoma City today for a conference.
Ate too many calories and sat on my butt too long.
Guest speaker was fabulous!
Tomorrow, take the stairs.
Thought of the day:
Don't forget to sparkle!
Former Oklahoma teacher of the year & the 2012 opening ceremonies guest speaker for the NEA Minority and Women's Leadership Conference
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Food and I have made amends. We have made our apologies to each other and have decided that we can and will get along. I vowed to stop abusing food and food vowed to not to put weight on me.
I will be eating to live, not living to eat.
Food is necessary for survival. I was surviving for food.
I am an addict. Food addiction is hard to overcome. Food is your best friend night or day, good or bad, rain or shine, bored or busy. You will always have a friend in food. I know I have friends that are there for me and love me no matter what I look like or who I am. The people in my life are amazing and bring something different to my life. I don't know what I would do without each and every one of my friends and family. However, food is a different kind of friend. It is unexplainable as to the kind of friend food is. Unless you have an addiction to food or have food issues, you really don't understand this. I'm sure though that every reader, every person can relate to this.
I think my friendship with food is going through a trial separation. We have not gotten along in a very long time, so now I think it's time to try something new. We are not separating completely, we are seeing other people. We are still together, but food and I aren't living together anymore.
Yes the analogy isn't the best, but I think this is the best way for me to describe my relationship with food.
My readers, I would like for you to think about your relationship with food. How would you describe it? What kind of relationship would you like to have? Feel free to comment below, I would love to hear from you.
Thought of the day:
“Desserts are like mistresses. They are bad for you. So if you are having one,
you might as well have two.”
- Chef Alain Ducasse
Monday, January 16, 2012
Still having problems with my tooth. Still taking anti-biotics for it.
Today's workout was awesome! 10-15 minutes on the treadmill and then 30 minutes on the stationary bike. Then strength training. I have to admit that I really like working out. I may whine about it but the "high" I get afterwards makes me happy.
The rest of this week will be challenging. I'm going to be at a conference for a few days. I don't know what kind of food we will be getting. All I know is that I do plan on really being careful. I'm hoping there is a gym at the hotel so I can at least get some time on the treadmill in. They are charging $12.95 a day for internet service which is highway robbery! They seem to have a nice workout area. I will take my things but I can't guarantee that I will have the time.
I ate really well today. Cereal and a banana with peanut butter for breakfast. Whole wheat mac n' cheese with a turkey sandwich with whole wheat bread, cheese, spinach, and a measured out tablespoon of mayo for lunch. Dinner was a chicken breast, brown rice, and a nice salad. I'm not hungry, I've had my 8 glasses of water today. My body has gotten used to eating this way so eating so terribly like I did yesterday upsets my stomach.
Big interview coming up soon! Not too much longer! I will let you know when it happens!
Funny thought of the day:
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Happy Birthday Mandalee!
Not that the formalities are out of the way ;-P
|Me, Mom and Paul (brother) at my step-dad's celebration of life Oct. 21, 2012|
For some reason today was a rough day. It could be that it was 3 months ago today that I lost my step-dad. I was having problems focusing today.
My calorie count is way off. Tomorrow is going to be to a buckle down day. I have a lot to get done. I have sub plans for Wednesday through Monday morning to get done, I have school work to get done, I need to put in my 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of strength and I need to pack.
I couldn't even focus long enough to fold my laundry and put it away. It's folded, but that's about it. My sub plans are started, no where near finished. School work, that's a joke, I have nothing even close to being done or started for that matter.
I know from previous experience that there is a hurdle around the 2 week mark. You get going just fine for about 2-3 weeks. You have an off day and maybe cheat or over eat. Once you do that, well, you might as well say "Screw it!" and fall off the food wagon (or on it to get the food). I refuse to let today stop me from working towards my ultimate goal, health.
One thing I do when I'm stressed out and overwhelmed is either to eat or to not eat. I really have to be careful. Food and I have a love/hate relationship. I love to eat and it loves to pack on the pounds but I hate the way it makes me feel. Unfortunately, there is a cyclical relationship with food. I eat because I am sad, I'm depressed, I'm stressed, or I'm overwhelmed. Because I have eaten too much, I feel awful about myself. That makes me want to eat more. That just makes me even more down on myself.
This cyclical relationship was becoming more dangerous. I had to make that change. Seeing the calories from today was a wake up call. I'm feeling sick to my stomach and completely guilty about today. I know what I was eating was wrong but I did it anyway. Now that I know how I will feel when I have these moments of pure weakness, I can begin to control them.
This lifestyle change is all about making changes. You can't change if you don't learn from your mistakes. I am learning and I am changing. Although the changes may not be noticeable right away, they are inner changes that will soon become outer changes.
Thought of the day:
Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Here are some articles I found that discuss the reason resolutions fail.
Why Resolutions Fail By Lauren Torrisi
Psychology Today by Ray B. Williams
- Focus on one resolution, rather several; I have one, how many do you have?
- Set realistic, specific goals. Losing weight is not a specific goal. Losing 10 pounds in 90 days would be; My goal is not that specific, I guess I need to look at it again and figure out how to make it a little more specific
- Don't wait till New Year's eve to make resolutions. Make it a year long process, every day; I waiting until New Year's eve but I'm going to be doing this every day all day for the rest of my life
- Take small steps. Many people quit because the goal is too big requiring too big a step all at once; I think I have small steps, work out 3 days a week and count my calories daily
- Have an accountability buddy, someone close to you that you have to report to; You, my beautiful readers, are my accountability buddies!!!
- Celebrate your success between milestones. Don't wait the goal to be finally completed; Every pound is a cause for celebration! Every 5 pounds lost, I get a ladybug something!
- Focus your thinking on new behaviors and thought patterns. You have to create new neural pathways in your brain to change habits; This one is a little difficult but it can be done. My new thinking is that exercise, although difficult right now will get easier as I get stronger and healthier
- Focus on the present. What's the one thing you can do today, right now, towards your goal? What am I eating right now? When am I going to exercise? Do I really need this?
mindful. Become physically, emotionally and mentally aware of your
inner state as each external event happens,moment by moment, rather than
living in the past or future. This blog is part of this. To talk about the past is to stop living in it. I feel like I am now living moment by moment. Although I am still talking about the past, I am living life now and making the most of now.
How can you look at your New Year's resolutions?
Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person's physical, emotional, and mental states.
I had woken up in the middle of night with a sharp pain in my mouth. I had gotten up and looked in the mirror, I was completely swollen on the left side. I had called into work so I could make it back to the dentist. I'm hurting and eating becomes difficult at times.
Because I'm having issues eating, I don't feel like I'm doing all I should be. When I go to the store today I'm going to see what I can get that will help me. Soft foods don't always taste good or are the healthiest options.
I was able to work out though. I have learned some things.
#1 The elliptical and I are not friends right now. I got on yesterday and heard a crunch and felt pain in my right knee. I was also out of breath within about 3 minutes. I think I need to get some weight off and build up my lung capacities first.
#2 You can get one hell of a workout on a stationary bike! I was dripping with sweat after 30 minutes. Taking my text book was a good idea! I got almost the whole chapter read.
#3 Strength training is kind of fun... plus the eye candy doesn't hurt either ;-P
I'll post more later on today about well... today...
Thought of the day:
You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.
– Charles Buxton
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
So I'm watching an episode from last week and he has some women on there that are poking fun at their sister for her weight. I actually thought the sisters were way too skinny and the "overweight" sister looked healthy and beautiful in comparison. During the show Dr. Phil was giving weight loss "tips". I believe he had 4. Normally, I wouldn't pay a tiny bit of attention to those tips but since I've started this journey, I decided to pay a little bit more attention. One of his tips (I looked on his website and couldn't find them) was to reward yourself. I've got it! For every 5 lbs I lose, I can buy something ladybug! I think that would be perfect for me!
His other tips were those "No duh! Really?!" moments that makes me feel like a moron for even listening to him. One was to get moving. Well, no shit Sherlock! Another is to eat more meals but smaller portions. Okay, yeah, I get that one too. Eat more often to curb your appetite and cravings. But realistically, that one only works for people that don't have a classroom full of students all day long. I'm sure there are others that can't do it but since I'm a teacher, well, you know, it fits. His 4th tip was something that was "no duh!" moment but I just can't remember what it was.
Bottom line is this....
To lose weight you have to get off your @$$ and get moving. You also have to eat healthier foods and watch your portions. It's okay to have a piece of cake now and then but should your piece of cake be the size of the elephant man's baby's head? I think not! A good way to look at dessert is that it shouldn't be the size of your dinner. A piece of cake should be half the size of your fist.
I know it sucks but I have started measuring my food to see what exactly I'm eating. It's amazing what you think one portion looks like and what one portion really is. Try it!
If you are looking for something sweet, my stepmom has some pretty awesome advice. Take one (1) piece of chocolate and place it on your tongue letting it melt. DON'T CHEW! You will get a longer lasting sensation of that chocolatey goodness that you crave.
Today's quote is a little funny and a little true...
Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces. ~Judith Viorst
P.S. I'm ready for my close-up Mrs. Dubill! :)