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Sunday, July 26, 2015

Post Op Day 6

Things have been going surprisingly well.  The hardest part is getting all the fluids throughout the day.  I find myself getting dizzy at because I'm dehydrated.  I think I just need to get in the habit of taking a bottle of water with me EVERYWHERE.

I'm moving around really well.  The only thing that is really bothering me is that I'm a stomach sleeper.  I have found that if I fall asleep with a pillow under my left side, there is no pain.  But I wake up facing right and the pillow somewhere on the floor.

I wish I could just stay put so I don't wake up in pain!


I thought I'd give a low-down of the weight.

1st pre-op visit with doc: weight 311

Liquid Diet Start: weight 304

Surgery day: weight 292

Day 6 post op: weight 283

All of this happened within 1 month!


For the next week I get to add cottage cheese, eggs, hummus, and refried beans to my ever growing list of foods I'm allowed to eat.  YAY!

So far I've had 2 instances of food that just didn't sit well, it's called dumping.

I had a soup with WAY TOO MUCH sodium.  It didn't take long for me to need to run to the bathroom and see the symptoms.

Then I drank a shake too fast and felt gross and nasty with some of the dumping symptoms.  That was fun!  NOT!

It's all about learning what you can and can't tolerate and what you can and can't eat.

Signing off for tonight!

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Post Op day 3

I know I haven't written much in the last few days so "Let me ‘splain…No, there is too much. Let me sum up." (Inigo Montoya Princess Bride).

Monday morning was surgery.  I don't remember much after the nurse asked me if I wanted some meds to help me relax.  The next thing I remember is waking up and being asked to stand up to sit in the wheelchair.

I have to say, the pain med button was my best friend Monday.  I don't remember my mom and stepmom leaving.

The pain was unbearable for awhile.  They made me get up and walk, I was proud of myself for doing it.  The nurse and the bf walked with me.

Later in the day I went for a walk again, releasing gas along the way again (it's actually quite funny because all I was doing was burping).  When I got back from my walk I began dry heaving.

I think it was the meds and all that fun stuff that gets in your system.

Tuesday morning I was able to come home, after I peed on my own of course.  That was the most amazing feeling even though I was only gone about 24 hours.

Slept most of Tuesday although I did get up and do some walking.  Didn't sleep too well Tuesday night, woke up with bad pain.

Wednesday I stayed awake a lot longer and didn't take my pain meds much.  I went for a walk to the fountain at the front of the subdivision (about 1/4 mile there and back).  Felt good to get out.

Today, I'm feeling even better.  Everyday gets a little better.  Still hurts to bend over, getting up and down from the bed or chair hurts.

I want to go to WalMart to get a few things and I also want to just get out of the house!

I'm feeling a nap in my near future!

Friday, July 17, 2015

Days left

With just days left until surgery, I'm starting to get nervous, scared, and excited.

Someone said to me, "good, that means you're not insane"

Um, thank you... lol

Luckily I have found someone from a support group online that I have been messaging with.  We are going through the liquid diet together and our surgery is the same day.


2 more full days until surgery day!  Craziness!  I can't wait but I want the weekend to go slow.  There's still a lot to do!  I need to make a list of things that I need to get so when I can try soft foods, they will be here, I need to pick up things around the house: litter box, laundry, dishes, and I need to get mentally prepared.

How does one mentally prepare to get rid of the majority of the stomach and major surgery?  If you figure it out, please let me know.


I think the next 2 days will be rough mentally but I will get myself ready.  The boyfriend's kids are here so that is a great distraction.  The little one came up to me, grabbed my arm and said "My Bekka!"  I asked him, "are you sure I'm not daddy's Bekka?"  and he said, "I love you too so you are my Bekka!"

I think that will help me get through the weekend and get ready for surgery day!

Saturday, July 11, 2015

The struggle is real!

The 2 week liquid only diet is very difficult!  I am struggling day to day just to get out of bed.

I'm always hungry, never satisfied, weak, cranky, tired, and nauseous.

To say that it will be worth it in the end is an understatement.  I know that what I'm doing is for the best but at the same time, I just don't want to do this anymore.

I've hit that wall... Monday will be one week of the liquid diet and one week until surgery day.

I'm starting to get scared.  I know everything will be fine but this is major surgery!

I don't want my summer to be over but I want surgery to hurry up so I can move on.

I'm just wanting to curl up and sleep the next 8 days away.  My willpower isn't as strong as it was a few days ago.

There are times when I look at the food on the counter and just want to eat the banana or drown myself in nacho cheese at the movies.

This brick wall is thick and tall.  I need to figure out a way over it.  This is definitely not an easy way out, you have to have real strength and conviction to get through this part of the surgery.

I just don't know how strong I am right now.  Defeat is not something I take lightly so I just have to push through the wall or over the wall, however I'm going to get to the other side.

This is just my ramblings because I needed to get them out and express the frustration I feel.

Friday, July 10, 2015

A little more than 9 days remaining

I didn't post the last few days because there was nothing to say.

Yesterday I had my endoscopy.  The last thing I remember is the lady coming in to give me the good juice in the IV.

The next thing I remember is being in the car.

Apparently I went and got my blood work done.  Okay, whatever I guess.

I don't remember coming home but I have no memories until I woke up 3.5 hours later.

Anesthesia and I don't get along well.

I was a little out of it all day yesterday but today, I'm pretty fine.


Today I went and paid for surgery.  I think I heard my bank account scream!  It will be worth it in the end.

Since Monday I am down 11 pounds.  I know they say people typically lose 10-20 pounds in the liquid pre-op phase, I met the minimum in just 5 days.  To be honest though, some of it might have been binge weight from the weekend.

I am getting more nervous for July 20th but I have all the support I need!


On a very random note, I stopped by QuikTrip to get gas and needed a protein shake or something.

The donuts were very inviting!  I wanted one soooooooo bad but I walked on by.  That ladies and gents is willpower!

Off to make my jello and drink some broth!


Tuesday, July 7, 2015

12 Days

Today has been even rougher than yesterday.

I've had some depression today.  Not what I was expecting.

I'm hungry, cranky, have a huge headache, stomach pain, and now depression.

I know this is just part of the process, my body is in shock from lack of sugar and caffeine.

Tomorrow is a new and better day!

Monday, July 6, 2015

13 Days until surgery

Instead of looking at it as 1 day down, I decided to view it as 13 days to go.  Watching the number get smaller seems like a good idea.

I weighed myself today, didn't do pictures though.  Oh well, I'll get them tomorrow.

I want some serious before and afters.


Started the liquid diet today.  Boy does it SUCK!  I had a small cheat (watermelon).  It was only a few pieces but damn it tasted good!

The goal is to shrink my liver so surgery is easier to complete.  I'm hoping everything shrinks like it's supposed to.

I'm super hungry right now and am pushing myself through.  Lots of water and things that don't taste like my protein shake.

Here's to 13 more days!  *cheers*

Sunday, July 5, 2015

And away we go....

So here it is, Sunday night...

As of tomorrow I have 2 weeks until surgery!

I'm not feeling much of anything except maybe numb and nasty.

I have been eating a bunch of crap this weekend.  I know I shouldn't have but it's the "last meal" thought that keeps running through my head.

I never really had my "last meal", I've had my "last meals"  lol

Tomorrow I start my all liquid diet.  I'm not looking forward to it at all. It will be tough but I know it will be worth it in the end.

I know the first few days I will be completely cranky.  I know that every time the BF puts food in his mouth, I will be jealous.  I did something similar last summer but instead of a permanent change, it was a very expensive temporary change.

Wish me luck!  I will be posting my progress!

Thursday, July 2, 2015

The Gastric Sleeve Journey

So the scary part is the surgery and recovery.

With the particular clinic I am using, they require a free seminar.  Basically, you get the information about the different surgeries and ask questions.  It was informative but still was a little overwhelming.

After filling out the information, the doctors review your information and determine whether you are a candidate or not.  Then you wait for the call.

I got the call a few days later to set up an appt.  The problem that I have is that my insurance SUCKS!  So I had to come up with the money... thanks to my family, I was able to get a loan.

My process has been fast.  From the seminar to surgery was June 15 to July 20.

Today I attended a required education class.  I read the binder before going so it really didn't tell me anything new.

I have to have an endoscopy and lab work next week (not 100% on the endoscopy reason).

I also have to have a consult with a psychologist.  I'm crazy but I hope that doesn't come thru in the eval.  :)

Two weeks before the surgery you have to go on an all liquid diet to shrink your liver.  It's high protein and sugar free.  I start this on July 6.  It's going to be a long bitchy 2 weeks.

On surgery day, they will only have me in the OR for about 30 minutes with about an hour in recovery.  I have to spend the night in the hospital but my mommy will be there with me!  Typically, you go home the next day if there are no complications.

For the first 2 days home, I am only allowed water.  Hydration is a huge issue.

Then for the next 2 1/2 weeks pureed food only.

The purpose for this is to not get chunks of food stuck in the staples in the stomach and cause infection.

They said that I will pretty much be in bed the first few days but am required to get up and walk around the house 3-5 times.  To me that reads, "shower and pee".

After the first week I will go back and get my staples removed and have a follow-up.  I'm pretty okay with that.  If I am off my narcotic pain meds I can drive.

I will be able to go back to work at the beginning of August.  I just can't lift anything over 15 pounds for the first month or more.

My friend said that after 3 weeks he was walking around an amusement park... no thanks, I'll do other stuff instead.

I will go back for a 2 month, 6 month, 1 year, 2 year, 3 year etc. follow-up.  Not too bad if I do say so myself.

With everyone's support and knowledge of the steps, I know I can do this and will have a great outcome!

I'll try and post as this goes on, I think it's important to talk about the journey.

Tough Decisions Pt 3

What is the last resort?

I have spent many years with this decision in the back of my mind.

A doctor once told me that I was never going to be able to lose weight and to just give up.

Nope!  No!  No, no, no, no!

How dare he say that!  That was the moment in time I decided to take my health and my life back.

Now that I am 5 years out from working out with a trainer (recommended by a doctor with bedside manners), I am finally ready!

At 34 years old I am taking my life into my hands.  F the doctor that said I would never be able to do anything about my weight.

I have tried everything and nothing has stuck.

I have PCOS, insulin resistance, and fertility issues.

I want kids!  I want to feel good!  I want to live!

With that being said, on Monday July 20th at 9:15 I report to the hospital for gastric sleeve surgery.

YOU WHAT?!?!?!?!

You read that right, gastric sleeve!

This decision hasn't been made lightly.  It is major surgery and I will be losing the majority of my stomach.  My stomach will only be about 2 oz big from that point on.

This is something that I have full support from my parents, the boyfriend, and my 2 best friends in Texas (it's weird to say they live an hour from each other).

I can't do this without support.  One of my close friend's (ex boyfriend from high school and an awesome friend) and his fiancee have had the sleeve done and love it.  He was my inspiration for starting things up now.

I really didn't want to say anything about surgery until it got a little closer but I feel like an open dialogue is needed.

Let's start this dialogue....

Ask any questions you want!