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Thursday, September 6, 2012

Medical Update

A week or so ago I posted that I struggle with anxiety and depression. 

Although it is not a subject many talk about, it's time we start. 

The doctor is concerned that I'm showing more signs of manic depression.

We upped my meds to 150 mg and added Xanax to the mix.

I took my first Xanax tonight and feel like I'm floating.  Even though it is the minimum dose, I'm thinking half a pill will do.

With the external factors surrounding my stress, it is no wonder why I'm having severe symptoms.  I go back in 7 weeks for an update.  I'm really hoping that I can get off the Xanax.

With all this stress and depression, I find working out to be a huge problem.  These meds should help get me back on track.

On Tuesday, my trainer is wanting to do a fitness assessment.  He saw my frustration on Tuesday and thinks I need a self-esteem boost.  One can only be knocked down, bull-dosed over so many times in a short period of time before one feels as though they are worthless.  That is a lot of how I feel.

I'm just beat down and feeling like I don't matter right now.  I know it's not true but don't invalidate my feelings.

Tomorrow needs to be a better day....

I need more friends outside of work locally, that would help.

Until tomorrow...

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