That moment...

when you awake from sleep and realize that the very realistic dream you had was in fact a dream.  I woke up crying.  I could reach out and touch my grandparents in this dream.  I got to hug them, touch them, smell the pipe, feel the grass in the yard, dead head the garden, and just sit and talk to my grandparents.

This was taken Christmas 2002, our last Christmas with her.  I just love this picture because of the way Grandpa is looking at Grammy.  He truly loved her with every breath he took.

That is something I want to do again.  I know within this life I will not do it but within my dreams I can.  It was so realistic that it almost made me sick to know it wasn't real.  I've been in a funk all day because of that dream.  I haven't been able to concentrate and I just want to go back to sleep to dream again.  

One thing that always helps me get out of my funk is listening to Sarah McLachlan.  I spent part of my day watching Daria and the rest listening to Sarah.  She was someone that grammy loved as well.  Every time I go to see her in concert, I end up in tears at some point.  But it's always out of happiness with some sorrow.  Ice Cream always puts a smile on my face (grammy loved it too!) and I have to sing along loudly and Out of Tune (another fabulous song by the way).

I think I have done a good job today of not eating my feelings.  All I've wanted to do was to eat to feel better.  I had some fruit instead of junk.  Of course, I don't have a lot of junk in the house but that's not the point.  I went for a stroll but just didn't feel it so now I'm back blogging hoping that will pull me out of this funk.  

My thought of the day comes from Daria.  I love that show and wish it was still on but I have the DVD's and Hulu so I can watch it when I want.  It just seemed profound and for some reason needed to be said.  

Thought of the day:

Otherwise, my advice is stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked. The truth and the lie are not "sort of" the same thing. And there's no aspect, no facet, no moment in life that can't be improved with pizza. 
~Daria Morgandorffer in Is It College Yet?