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Wednesday, April 18, 2012

2 nights in one

It was just not possible to post last night, I had too much going on and it wasn't going to happen.

So yesterday, I went to the community college track and some really rude and mean "kids" (I call them that because they look to be late teens, early 20's) were at the track screwing around.  I started doing my first lap and they were just being idiots.  When I got to the point where I start jogging, as I jog by them, they start after me saying things like, "she's not running, she's rolling!"  "I move faster than that when I walk!"

I know that they are immature jerks!  Don't get me wrong, they mean nothing to me but all of those feeling from when I was younger came back.  I have worked for 3 and a half months to get to where I am now.  Unfortunately, I felt horrible afterwards. I got 3/4 mile jog and 1/2 mile walk in.  I just couldn't do it.  Those idiots upset me!  Why did I let them get to me?  They are nothing.

I got back to the car and just started crying.  It felt good to get it out!

Today wasn't much better.  It just occurred to me why.  I have felt off all day and just felt sick to my stomach.  My dear cousin would have been 36 years old today.  We lost Mariah Sept. 30, 2004.  I love her and miss her every day!

The next few months are going to be difficult.  We lost my grandfather April 26, 2004 and my grammy May 12, 2003.  I have to push through it and know that they are proud of me and looking down from heaven giving me the push that I need.

Instead of something exercise related today, I will leave you with this...

"You think the dead we loved ever truely leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble?"
~Professor Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

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