Although she was critical of my weight and the way I looked, I knew she loved me. She loved all of us. I can still tell you where the plates, bowls, cups, cereal, etc. were in the house. I could probably walk through the house blindfolded and not have problems. I knew that house like the back of my hand.
There was a beauty to my grandmother, one that I hope to achieve someday. I never thought of her as old. She never looked old to me. It wasn't until that last year of her life that I saw her as anything but invincible.
One memory of her that I have been thinking about all day was a time near the end of her life and we were in the bedroom. I was standing on a chair in her closet helping her go through her books and her things. She was wanting to get rid of all the things that she thought nobody would want.
As I was standing there, I couldn't help but cry. How could I possibly throw away anything that my grandmother had ever touched? How could I get rid of anything at all? She saw me crying and called me over to the bed. She held me like I was a child and let me cry. That moment in time will forever be ingrained in my memory. She told me that no matter what happened or how old I was, I would always be her baby.
She always looked at the grandkids like babies. Not in a bad way. No matter how old we were, she saw us as innocent and beautiful.
It was the Thursday or Friday before she passed (May 12, 2003). My brother and I had gone to Florence for the day. My aunt Merrilee was there, helping with the final days. Paul, Merrilee and I went to the Chuckwagon for lunch to give grandpa some time.
When we came back the house was quiet. Walking into grammy's bedroom I saw my grandpa asleep in the wicker chair with grammy's Emily Dickinson book open on his chest. He had been reading her poetry.
That was the last time I had seen them together. A few days later we lost her. Although heartbreaking and painful. It is a wonderful thing to remember, a beautiful sight to see.
Phyllis Lorraine Williams Brosemer was/is my role model. I look up to her strength, courage, humility, bravery, and ability to love everyone.
I hope someday to be like her.
I will always look up to her.
|My dad, Steve, grammy, Merrilee, Julie and Grandpa.|